As a lifelong Clevelander, I am not used to success or any "outside" recognition thereof

This weekend's episode of "The Soup" closed with one of the show's producers sitting in a chair, brushing Joel McHale's mullet wig as Joel sat on the floor in front of him. (This was a reference to an episode of "Wife Swap" wherein a wife brushes her husband's mullet while simultaneously telling him what a man he is.)

As the producer brushes his mane, Joel asks (I'm paraphrasing here), "So, do you think Cleveland will take it? I think they will." This reference to the Cleveland Cavaliers-Detroit Pistons series, which the Cavs clinched to great effect (BOOBIE!) on Saturday night, is remarkable. Not only is somebody outside of Cleveland talking about a Cleveland sports franchise, but that person outside of Cleveland is speaking positively about a Cleveland sports franchise and stating that he believes it can win.

Unheard of. I don't quite know how to process these feelings. When the Indians went the World Series in 1995 and 1997, it was an incredible and amazing thrill. But I lived in Chicago at the time, so I wasn't able to absorb the ambient hysteria and enthusiasm that came with living in the proximity of a championship team. Also, growing up in suburban Cleveland, I really didn't have a sense of just how futile the city was. I mean, I knew the Cuyahoga River caught on fire, and I knew that this was a very bad thing. I had the vague sense that Mayor Kucinich was inept. But I wasn't aware of the subtleties of Cleveland politics and business and education and economic development -- topics with which I'm quite familiar now having returned and worked in the city as an "adult."

I am acutely aware of Cleveland's troubles, and how good it will feel -- even temporarily, even though I don't care about basketball itself -- to have one 22-year-old from Akron (who "gets" Northeast Ohio's futility as well) singularly lift us all up on this tattooed shoulders.

That someone else, in Los Angeles no less, thinks Cleveland can win at something is a foreign and thrilling concept, indeed. Thanks, Joel. As if Little Gay, CRUISE WATCH, Clippos Magnificos and Souper Fantastic Ultra Wish Time were not enough, you believe in us, man.

Your apparent interest in campy metal gives me hope for the future of our world

Since I posted a few days ago about the heavy metal Domino's pizza commercial, several of you fine folks out there have stumbled across Sympathetic Weather through Web searches utilizing the following strings:

-"it mocks your silly rules"
-it mocks your silly rules
-Domino's "your silly rules"
-singer Dominos commercial silly rules
-Dominos pizza commercial metal
-dominos pizza+metal song
-metal new dominoes commercial
-dominoes pizza tenacious d comm
-"silly rules" dominoes
-dominos pizza metal song
-dominos pizza heavy metal commercial

I can't even tell you how excited I am to learn that such searching is going on out there. Not even because it leads you to this blog. But because it means that, dammit, you need to know, specifically, how it is that Domino's is going to mock of your silly rules.

Meanwhile, your interest in Joel McHale's sexual orientation continues. Which I find to be fascinating, because he is totally straight. And cute. Anyway. I tell you, I don't know what I did for entertainment before I could monitor traffic to this blog.

'Sup with all the gaiety?

I have a fancy little tracking device in this here blog that lets me see how many people visit the site, where they're from and how they got here. It is a fascinating tool, as I now know that I have readers from Lisbon to Delhi, from Queensland to Kent, Ohio. I do feel a little creepy monitoring the site like this, but it's totally fascinating to imagine someone in Alberta, Canada, reading this crap.

The best part of my stint as Big Brother: reviewing what search strings people enter into Google or Blogger that lead them to Sympathetic Weather. It seems you are very interested in which people -- real or fictional -- may or may not be gay. Recent searches:

-"Shawn Brady" gay
-patrick pentland gay
-"the soup" joel mchale gay

Then there was the search for "Steve Irwin baby elephant," which, though not overtly gay, is kinda gay.

And so...today's screencap of last night's Lost -- which I hope to make a recurring feature on the 'Weather -- is also kinda gay. Enjoy:

My favorite new character on television...

...is not Juliet, the muffin-burning Other on Lost. Or Deelishis from Flavor of Love 2. Or even that whore Willow from Days. It's Little Gay -- or, Li'l Gay, as the case may be -- who appears every so often in the palm of Joel McHale's hand on The Soup. He made his glorious entrance into my TV viewing consciousness a few weeks ago, popping up to say, "Hello, big world!" Gayest thing ever.

This week he appeared following the Most Fantastic News I've Heard In All Of 2006, wearing his little "Choose Life" t-shirt and mimicking the choreography from the "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" video.

I imagine his tiny closet, filled with wee workout gear and teensy mesh shirts. I would like to sip from his diminutive martini glasses, which can hold nary 1/20th of a cosmopolitan. I strive to be invited to his parties, where he spins "Turn The Beat Around" non-stop until the sun rises on his small and stylish, but adequately debauched, condo. I would devise a plan to carry him in my pocket into the theatre, thereby gaining his free admission to the revival of Annie Get Your Gun.

Thanks, Joel McHale, for bringing Li'l Gay into my life. Nay, into all of our lives.

Desire to blog remains strong despite recent shift in priorities

So it's been awhile since I've posted on this here blog, and I hear that my reader (singular) has grown tired of clicking on his Sympathetic Weather bookmark only to see the same ol' languishing page. I've been rather mercurial over the past month(s), what with a family emergency that has yet to sink in (bad) and the purchase of and move into our first home (good). February and March were at once tragic and exhilarating, despairing and hopeful. It's hard to blog at such times, let alone care about The Bachelor: Paris and Best Week Ever and Obi-Wan Kenobi and all the other crap to which the 'Weather is dedicated.

But it all just goes on, and so must I. The dot-com don't stop for nobody. However, I don't really have anything to say at the moment:

1. I am five episodes behind on Lost and Desperate Housewives (thank God for TiVo).
2. I have not watched The Soup in ages.
3. I have no idea what Martha Stewart is making that I should be purchasing, beyond Blueprint (my trial issue -- yay! -- should be in the mail).
4. I have not purchased tickets to the INXS show in Cleveland in May, even though I was willing to drag husband to Detroit to see them in February.
5. I haven't watched Rachael Ray open a store-bought pound cake and call it a "recipe" since at least '05.

Instead, given my status as a new homeowner, I'm now focused on a completely different set of things:

1. Oak leaves do not decay in any sort of timely manner, and must be raked in spring if the prior owner failed to do so last fall.
2. 10%-off Lowe's coupons do not apply to Fisher & Paykel or John Deere products.
3. In many cases, lamp shades are more expensive than they should be -- worse even than king-size bed sheets.
4. Old English Scratch Filler is a miraculous product.
5. We have two water meters: one to measure indoor use, one for outdoor. Sewer usage is based on the indoor meter reading.
6. Even after I remove the dead battery, the smoke detectors in the house keep chirping. Just like what happened to Phoebe that one time on Friends.
7. Pedestal sinks are somewhat impractical.

I need to find a way to reconcile these varied interests and foci so that this blog remains fascinating and not weighed down by tedious tales of painting shutters or re-keying dead bolts. Perhaps there will soon be an episode of Lost where Hurley begs Sawyer for a bottle of Milsek from his stash, because Locke asked Hurley to polish the stainless steel appliances in the Swan Station. But Sawyer won't relinquish it unless Hurley promises to spackle, tape and otherwise prep his tent for a new paint job. (Sawyer wants to create interest by painting an accent wall in his tent, making a focal point that draws the eye when you enter the space.) Hurley obliges, and is inspired to reupholster his salvaged airplane seat with cotton matelasse that he found in Ethan Rom's craft room in Caduceus.

Someone please alert J.J. Abrams and HGTV. If you thought Bad Twin was a brilliant if manipulative marketing ploy, just wait until the island-themed home makeover spin-off.

Ah, it's good to be back.