Your apparent interest in campy metal gives me hope for the future of our world

Since I posted a few days ago about the heavy metal Domino's pizza commercial, several of you fine folks out there have stumbled across Sympathetic Weather through Web searches utilizing the following strings:

-"it mocks your silly rules"
-it mocks your silly rules
-Domino's "your silly rules"
-singer Dominos commercial silly rules
-Dominos pizza commercial metal
-dominos pizza+metal song
-metal new dominoes commercial
-dominoes pizza tenacious d comm
-"silly rules" dominoes
-dominos pizza metal song
-dominos pizza heavy metal commercial

I can't even tell you how excited I am to learn that such searching is going on out there. Not even because it leads you to this blog. But because it means that, dammit, you need to know, specifically, how it is that Domino's is going to mock of your silly rules.

Meanwhile, your interest in Joel McHale's sexual orientation continues. Which I find to be fascinating, because he is totally straight. And cute. Anyway. I tell you, I don't know what I did for entertainment before I could monitor traffic to this blog.

'Sup with all the gaiety?

I have a fancy little tracking device in this here blog that lets me see how many people visit the site, where they're from and how they got here. It is a fascinating tool, as I now know that I have readers from Lisbon to Delhi, from Queensland to Kent, Ohio. I do feel a little creepy monitoring the site like this, but it's totally fascinating to imagine someone in Alberta, Canada, reading this crap.

The best part of my stint as Big Brother: reviewing what search strings people enter into Google or Blogger that lead them to Sympathetic Weather. It seems you are very interested in which people -- real or fictional -- may or may not be gay. Recent searches:

-"Shawn Brady" gay
-patrick pentland gay
-"the soup" joel mchale gay

Then there was the search for "Steve Irwin baby elephant," which, though not overtly gay, is kinda gay.

And so...today's screencap of last night's Lost -- which I hope to make a recurring feature on the 'Weather -- is also kinda gay. Enjoy:

My favorite new character on television...

...is not Juliet, the muffin-burning Other on Lost. Or Deelishis from Flavor of Love 2. Or even that whore Willow from Days. It's Little Gay -- or, Li'l Gay, as the case may be -- who appears every so often in the palm of Joel McHale's hand on The Soup. He made his glorious entrance into my TV viewing consciousness a few weeks ago, popping up to say, "Hello, big world!" Gayest thing ever.

This week he appeared following the Most Fantastic News I've Heard In All Of 2006, wearing his little "Choose Life" t-shirt and mimicking the choreography from the "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" video.

I imagine his tiny closet, filled with wee workout gear and teensy mesh shirts. I would like to sip from his diminutive martini glasses, which can hold nary 1/20th of a cosmopolitan. I strive to be invited to his parties, where he spins "Turn The Beat Around" non-stop until the sun rises on his small and stylish, but adequately debauched, condo. I would devise a plan to carry him in my pocket into the theatre, thereby gaining his free admission to the revival of Annie Get Your Gun.

Thanks, Joel McHale, for bringing Li'l Gay into my life. Nay, into all of our lives.

Sounds like he's just afraid of commitment

Are you freaking kidding me?

Brad Pitt says he won't marry Angelina Jolie until "everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able." That is so very noble of him.

Don't get me wrong. I have no problem with gay people, marriage, or any combination thereof. I just think it's a particularly weenie move for Brad to pull. If I were Angelina, I would be pissed. Given the fact -- unjust as it is -- that gay marriage is unlikely to be made legal across all 50 states within Mr. Pitt's lifetime, he might as well stare deeply into Angie's doe eyes, observe her quivering, ripe lips and say, "I wouldn't marry you if hell froze over. But here, let me offer this selfless, righteous reason."

And by the way, am I supposed to feel sorry for him? Are politicians? Are they going to start campaigning for gay marriage, claiming that they won't be able to live with themselves until poor little Brad and Angie can tie the knot?

I can think of many more effective ways to campaign for gay rights.* Which is why this whole thing is a load of c-r-a-p designed to make Brad look noble while masking his true failing as a man who can't commit. Not even to one of the most beautiful women in the world.

*Volunteer with an organization like the Human Rights Campaign. Send them money. Send letters to your elected representatives. Participate in marches, demonstrations. Do something like what Brangelina did in Namibia when they donated money to hospitals and maternity wards, i.e., support a cause that you care about by doing something practical and effective.

And the Danish judge grants a perfect 6.0 for glove merit

If Johnny Weir's orange glove is meant to represent the beak of a swan named "Camille:"

Then clearly Evan Lysacek's hand-gear signifies a rooster's wattle:

I LOVE THE OLYMPICS.

(Not to mention the fantastic disarray of the Short Track 5,000m Relay, which looks more like Dick Cheney's wayward birdshot than an organized athletic test. And my favorite new event, Snowboard Cross. I hope I am around 100 years from now when people will nod politely at the quaint nostalgic charm of this event. For now, though, it is novel and ridiculous and marvelous: similar to the Short Track 5,000m Relay in its roller-derby chaos, only without the skates and the smokin' mixed-race sun god who broke up the Beatles.)