Hold on, I'm about to win this game of Minesweeper

What is Apolo doing?

A. Blogging
B. Burninating
C. Watching the Kid Rock-Scott Stapp sex tape
D. Getting a car insurance rate, and the rates of several other companies
E. E-mailing himself the recipe for the gingerbread AT-AT

Alas, it's none of the above. In truth, AAO is examining a video of his training session. I hope such rigor and dedication will result in gold medals, unlike showboaty Lindsey, who was no doubt contributing to theflyingtomato.net right before the women's Snowboard Cross finals.

And the Danish judge grants a perfect 6.0 for glove merit

If Johnny Weir's orange glove is meant to represent the beak of a swan named "Camille:"

Then clearly Evan Lysacek's hand-gear signifies a rooster's wattle:

I LOVE THE OLYMPICS.

(Not to mention the fantastic disarray of the Short Track 5,000m Relay, which looks more like Dick Cheney's wayward birdshot than an organized athletic test. And my favorite new event, Snowboard Cross. I hope I am around 100 years from now when people will nod politely at the quaint nostalgic charm of this event. For now, though, it is novel and ridiculous and marvelous: similar to the Short Track 5,000m Relay in its roller-derby chaos, only without the skates and the smokin' mixed-race sun god who broke up the Beatles.)