Truth in advertising on Thursday's "Martha"

Yesterday Martha Stewart and guest Angela Bassett crafted some personalized baby items, such as onesies and diaper bags, stamped with the initials of Angela's twin offspring, Bronwyn and Slater.

It was all very lovely and sweet until Martha and Angela, extremely satisfied with their creations, held the little crafts up to the camera to reveal...two side-by-side sunhats emblazoned with a "B" and an "S," respectively.

Martha says we're supposed to craft these items "while the babies are napping." Now, I'm not a mom, but: BS, indeed.

Lest this blog devolve into mere regurgitation of bits found elsewhere on the internet...

...I couldn't help but post this photo, because it is so damn fantastic:

For the record, I got so excited about this that I spilled coffee all over my keyboard.

No commentary needed

From MSNBC:

"Britney [Spears] also reportedly hired a doctor to advise her on how to keep her tot safe. 'The doctor advised her not to leave Preston on any high surfaces where he could roll off,' an insider told In Touch Weekly, which also reports that Spears was so impressed with the sage advice that she wanted to hire the doctor full time, but he told her that it wasn’t necessary."

Get out you king of the Jews. Get out of my life!

In celebration of Good Friday, I'm listening to Jesus Christ Superstar. It is a work of musical theater genius. Written by two of the finest queens in Christendom, it has been a part of my musical life since before I can remember. I knew all of the words at a very young age, and would confusedly haul out the double album at Christmas only to be gently reminded by Mom and Dad that it was more of an Easter record.

Plus, in two millennia's worth of retellings of this story, I defy you to find a more bad-ass Judas:

I love Gnostic gospels

National Geographic has authenticated a manuscript from 300 A.D. that implies that Judas betrayed Jesus at Jesus' request:

The key passage comes when Jesus tells Judas "you will exceed all of them. For you will sacrifice the man that clothed me." This indicates that Judas would help liberate the spiritual self by helping Jesus get rid of his physical flesh, the scholars said.

More proof that Judas in no way deserves his bad reputation. Dude had to betray Christ; otherwise, how else for Jesus to fulfill his theological destiny? If Christ isn't betrayed and crucified, there's no Christianity. No lamb-of-God sacrifice, no for-God-loved-us-so-much-he-gave-his-only-son.

Judas was just doing what was asked of him -- by God, no less -- and his reward? Suicide by hanging, then eternity in Dante's ninth circle being chewed upon by Satan.

Shit ain't right.

Could it be that it's some sort of mass hallucination?

I am all caught up on my TiVOed episodes of Lost, and I'm thinking that -- after last night's Hurley-centric adventure involving creepy hallucinations of Harry Goldenblatt -- the whole premise might be some kind of collective drug-induced psychosis among the patients at Santa Rosa. Hurley's there. Libby's there. The taking of their daily meds is highlighted in a way that a minor, meaningless detail would not be otherwise. Leonard's numbers are endlessly echoing around the lounge.

Perhaps other characters are institutionalized, too. It's not like life has been trauma-free for any of them: Jack has father issues and a messiah complex. Kate is responsible for the death of her childhood love, plus she killed her fake-real dad. Locke has extreme daddy and abandonment issues, not to mention a serious inferiority complex and fleeting paralysis. Ana Lucia lost her unborn child and murdered to avenge that loss. Sayid saw his relatives gassed, lost the love of his life and was forced to do all manner of unkind things. Sawyer's parents were killed in front of him, turning him into a predatory loner. Charlie has a serious drug habit, combined with the humiliation of being a member of Driveshaft. Jin is a reluctant gangster. Michael had his son taken from him and then got hit by a car. Really, any of these things might be enough to put these people over the edge. And I'm willing to bet that those characters' backstories that we don't yet know are disastrous as well. You know Bernard once accidentally killed someone with a dental drill.

I generally believe that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. Rather than surviving a horrific plane crash and landing on a mysterious island with smoke monsters, hatches and Dharma Initiative-branded ranch dressing and sharks, I find it much more likely that these characters -- whose stories and lives are so interconnected that even Kevin Bacon is jealous -- are occupying the same institutional space, taking similar mind-altering medications and having related hallucinations within their own fragile psyches. They're working into each other's dreams/nightmares, with the island as their gigantic therapist's couch. Which explains why each of their personal demons just happens to be there: Kate's horse, Jack's dad, Hurley's food, Charlie's Virgin Mary heroine stash, the remains of Eko's brother, Sun's pregnancy test.

Of course this theory is just that, and will evolve as May sweeps approaches. But for now, there's no way this story is "real."

Desire to blog remains strong despite recent shift in priorities

So it's been awhile since I've posted on this here blog, and I hear that my reader (singular) has grown tired of clicking on his Sympathetic Weather bookmark only to see the same ol' languishing page. I've been rather mercurial over the past month(s), what with a family emergency that has yet to sink in (bad) and the purchase of and move into our first home (good). February and March were at once tragic and exhilarating, despairing and hopeful. It's hard to blog at such times, let alone care about The Bachelor: Paris and Best Week Ever and Obi-Wan Kenobi and all the other crap to which the 'Weather is dedicated.

But it all just goes on, and so must I. The dot-com don't stop for nobody. However, I don't really have anything to say at the moment:

1. I am five episodes behind on Lost and Desperate Housewives (thank God for TiVo).
2. I have not watched The Soup in ages.
3. I have no idea what Martha Stewart is making that I should be purchasing, beyond Blueprint (my trial issue -- yay! -- should be in the mail).
4. I have not purchased tickets to the INXS show in Cleveland in May, even though I was willing to drag husband to Detroit to see them in February.
5. I haven't watched Rachael Ray open a store-bought pound cake and call it a "recipe" since at least '05.

Instead, given my status as a new homeowner, I'm now focused on a completely different set of things:

1. Oak leaves do not decay in any sort of timely manner, and must be raked in spring if the prior owner failed to do so last fall.
2. 10%-off Lowe's coupons do not apply to Fisher & Paykel or John Deere products.
3. In many cases, lamp shades are more expensive than they should be -- worse even than king-size bed sheets.
4. Old English Scratch Filler is a miraculous product.
5. We have two water meters: one to measure indoor use, one for outdoor. Sewer usage is based on the indoor meter reading.
6. Even after I remove the dead battery, the smoke detectors in the house keep chirping. Just like what happened to Phoebe that one time on Friends.
7. Pedestal sinks are somewhat impractical.

I need to find a way to reconcile these varied interests and foci so that this blog remains fascinating and not weighed down by tedious tales of painting shutters or re-keying dead bolts. Perhaps there will soon be an episode of Lost where Hurley begs Sawyer for a bottle of Milsek from his stash, because Locke asked Hurley to polish the stainless steel appliances in the Swan Station. But Sawyer won't relinquish it unless Hurley promises to spackle, tape and otherwise prep his tent for a new paint job. (Sawyer wants to create interest by painting an accent wall in his tent, making a focal point that draws the eye when you enter the space.) Hurley obliges, and is inspired to reupholster his salvaged airplane seat with cotton matelasse that he found in Ethan Rom's craft room in Caduceus.

Someone please alert J.J. Abrams and HGTV. If you thought Bad Twin was a brilliant if manipulative marketing ploy, just wait until the island-themed home makeover spin-off.

Ah, it's good to be back.