The Dicky: February 16, 2006

I am so thankful for today's most excellent spam:

Get the amazing illuminating tweezers everyone is raving about!

Because I am so tired of listening to everyone rave about those illuminating tweezers, yet never hearing where or how I can get them. It's like, all talk, no action. Blue balls for the tweezer set, if you will.

The Dicky: February 14, 2006

In honor of Valentine's Day, a most excellent piece of spam has appeared in my work in-box with the following subject line:

Fucking St.Valentine

What about Fucking Cupid, with those fucking arrows?

While I'm at it...here's another one, from last week, courtesy of my husband:

Former President Bill Klinton uses Voagra!

Well of course.

The Dicky: January 27, 2006

The sender is the "California Olive Committee." The subject line is:

They kind of look like little football helmets, after all...

Whatever it takes to get football fans into tapenade.

The Dicky: January 17, 2006

In honor of last night's Golden Globes ceremony -- and of Hollywood's awards season in general -- today's Dicky goes to:

condoleeza rice, lol

The Dicky: January 6, 2006

Allow me to introduce a new recurring feature on Sympathetic Weather: The "Your Dick Isn't Just for Pissing" Award for Excellence in Spam Subject Lines (the "Dicky," for short).

From time to time I will bestow this honor on those spam messages that end up in my in-box with particularly hilarious and/or obtuse subject lines. To earn this recognition, a piece of spam must go beyond the ordinary and think outside of the box. Promises of lower mortgage rates and larger breasts will not suffice. I'm talking random-ass crap.

I hereby proclaim the inaugural Dicky recipient:

That's one nice dildo, councilwoman