She still rolled up a pretzel rod inside a piece of salami and called it an appetizer, so it's OK

I just had to do it. I had to watch the first episode of Rachael Ray's new daytime talk show. As I programmed the TiVo, I thought: (1) it might be sort of like watching a train wreck; (2) I need to know what she can do beyond "taking a little help from the store" by opening a can of beans; and (3) I am curious to see just how far Oprah's influence can take you, even when you are a babbling fool. (Yes, I know the answer to #3 is very, very far, unless you are James Frey.) I wanted to be able to write something nasty, such as "I don't know what makes me more nauseous: Rachael Ray's rotating stage or her persona."

And?

You guessed it. She wasn't half bad. I absolutely hate hate hate to admit this, but she has a little personality in there that is pretty funny and surprisingly articulate. One that has been totally obfuscated by the EVOO on her Food Network gig. A few times during her new show, this little personality appeared and made me think, maybe she is a little like me. Is it possible? Am I relating to her? Shit.

Then there's her unbridled enthusiasm. I always knew she was this way, as it's a characteristic that comes through very clearly on her Food Network shows. In that context, however, it is extremely annoying. Her thrill at spending less than $40 per day on meals makes me want to slap her. On the daytime show, though, she seems more genuine. More relaxed. More grateful for her success, which many (including jealous ol' me) argue that she should not even have. At one point she said, "I'm Rachael Ray, and I'll give you a dollar if you watch me." It appears that she has some wit under all that vapid garbage bowling.

I don't think I'll watch her each day; she's not that good. Plus, I already have a two-hour daytime TV commitment and if I increase that to three hours, the dog will never get walked again. And then I will no longer be Pack Leader, and Cesar Millan will be all over my ass. But still....Maybe my husband is right after all. Maybe I like Rachael Ray. Is it possible? It can't be possible. I am having an identity crisis of epic proportions.