You may pop the champagne

Martha Stewart's calendar is back!!

The low point of the whole Alderson debacle was the disappearance of Martha from the pages of Living -- taking the beloved calendar feature with her. Living editors replaced Martha's monthly reminders to "go hiking in Maine with Barbra" and "invite Nobu to Lily Pond Lane to help me sand and seal garden tool handles" with a feature called "Gentle Reminders," which, as to be expected, never lived up to the out-of-touch bourgeois charm of the calendar.

But lo, yesterday on Martha Martha unveiled a giant new calendar that will be a fixture on her daytime show set. Her audience clapped and squealed as if the words "The calendar is back!" are on par with "You get a car! You get a car!! YOU get a car!!!" (Which, of course, they are.)

Thank you, Martha, for giving me a reason to live again. And what will you be doing on January 24? Why, sending flowers to David Letterman, of course. A friendly gesture, sure, but that can't possibly beat when you sailed to Tobago Cay with Mick Jagger and family on the 5th. And might I suggest starting your packing for Torino on the 30th? That's when I'm doing mine.