Frightening the veterans

My husband and I spent a good deal of time at the American Legion last night. When we arrived with a few friends (two brothers, one of which is gay), the place was relatively full of older vets and local firefighters. They were enjoying themselves, sitting at large round tables and drinking pitchers of beer on which they tipped the poor suffering bartender $1 a piece.

Gay friend Andrew hit the jukebox, doing all he could to restrain himself from playing "My Humps" -- thinking that it would not be a favorite among the bar's patrons. Interestingly, he contented himself with playing some Elton John, which is much less straight than Fergie's lovely lady lumps. Anyway. The vets and firemen didn't seem to mind, but a few did start trickling out of the establishment.

I had $5 in my wallet, which buys you 12 songs at the Legion. I figured that I might try to expand the musical horizons of the remaining veterans, but by the time we got to "Copacabana," we were the only people left in the place. The last departing gentleman told us he would've stayed longer if not for the awful music.

Which means, sadly, that when "My Humps" came on, the bartender was the only soul left to witness Andrew's strip tease under the poorly-drawn map of Saudi Arabia on the Operation Iraqi Freedom banner. If you were wondering why the terrorists hate us.