Michael Hutchence might not be horrified by the new INXS album. This is a compliment.

I’ve had the pleasure of listening to the new INXS album, Switch. I awaited this album with sweet anticipation, and I am pleased to report that it doesn’t suck!

Not that I thought it would. J.D. clearly became the best choice for the lead-singer slot, and I have historically found it very difficult to dislike anything the Farriss brothers et. al. ever did. But still, I was a little worried. Will INXS ever really be relevant again? Is there a place for them among the lovely lady lumps? Can Mark Burnett really engineer a comeback for INXS after a decade of fading popularity and the tragic death of one of the most magnetic individuals in rock and roll? Is INXS destined to be a nostalgia act, buoyed briefly by the reality-TV phenomenon? The answers to those questions are probably no, no, no and yes, but if Switch is good, INXS will find an adequate audience nonetheless. Perhaps even one large enough to keep them in the studio and on the road.

There’s a lot at stake here. The soundtrack of my formative years. The musical seed that blossomed into my love of rock and roll and Australia, both of which, over the years, have become substantial to the point of gainful employment (the former) and lifelong friendships with my antipodean family (the latter). My eternal love of Michael Hutchence, which is strangely personal in a way that makes me understand why women cried when they saw the Beatles. INXS, I silently pleaded, please do right by all these things!

And they did. Switch is catchy and INXSy and only has a few missteps and emotionally confusing moments. So – because you can’t possibly breathe another moment without it – I hereby present an anal retentive track-by-track analysis, starting with the album’s title:

Switch I get it – the switch to a new lead singer, a new era, all they needed was the right singer and they're switched on again. But it is a little (OK very) Will Smith, and it sorta makes me want to turn it over and hit it, ooh la la la.

The cover art is less than inspired (sorry).

“Devil’s Party” Once I stumbled over the disconcerting title (a band should only ever write one song with the word “devil” in the title, especially if that one song was a huge hit), this song grew on me very quickly. I enjoy the lyrics; they are not overly literal, naïve or sentimental, thank you very much. Bonus: awesome Pengilly saxophone moments.

“Pretty Vegas” It should be stated that I like this song, but thanks to the TV show that spawned this album I will never hear it without thinking of that monstrosity, “Stop Go.” And I never want to think of that. This might be why I love the bridge so much; it seems to have been added after the show, and has moved the song away from the arrangement that was performed ad nauseam on TV. The guitar soars in the bridge, and the slide guitar underneath the chorus appeases my little country-loving self. The title is awful, but I will let it go. I’ll also forgive the megaphone.

“Afterglow” This song is so about Michael Hutchence it makes me uncomfortable. Is J.D. asking for posthumous permission to lead INXS? Is he hoping Michael won’t be mad at him whenever he meets him wherever he is? At least J.D. acknowledges that he’s living in a large, imposing shadow.

I wonder who wrote these lyrics – it would be much more meaningful if J.D. wrote them, as opposed to the rest of the band that might have had them ready for whichever singer took the reins. He sings that he’s “lost in the ashes of time, but who owns tomorrow?” Sorry J.D., Michael owns tomorrow. It’s not really up for debate. You might be admirable in your own right, but there’s no real comparison – especially when it comes to the legacy of INXS.

This is also the first of several songs that owe large debts to U2. Indeed, one might mistake this for a U2 song if one heard it at minimal volume.

“Hot Girls” At first, I thought this song was one of the aforementioned missteps. But it has grown on me. I like its groove, and I'm sure my husband would love the women whispering in Japanese throughout the track.

J.D. can totally get away with these lyrics (“Hot girls / They can break me break me / Take me where you are going”), but when I apply them to any Farriss, Beers or Pengilly – married fathers well into their 40s – I squirm a little.

“Perfect Stranger” The beginning of this song sounds like "Calling All Nations," off Kick. Sweet.

Again, this song works better if you forget that J.D. is fronting a band of middle-aged fathers. Not that men in their 40s can’t be sexual/attractive/whatever and modestly sing about one-night stands. It’s just that it doesn’t fit the Farriss/Beers/Pengilly personae. Michael Hutchence was the sexy one; the five of them are the blokes that will teach you about keyboards and pitch over a Crownie at the Parramatta R.S.L.

Side note: thank goodness the singer INXS chose has a rich gravelly baritone. None of this would have worked any other way.

“Remember Who’s Your Man” Also very U2; what is going on? I do like this one, though – very sweet, very hot, like the Thai spicy chicken wings at the Winking Lizard.

“Hungry” This might become the first song I start skipping over when listening to the whole album. The lyrics proclaim, “You don’t belong to me / I just gotta let you go.” OK, theme: gotta let you go, gotta give you up. He sure sounds determined to me…until the next track.

“Never Let You Go” After loving something and setting it free, J.D. gets all Rick Astley and affirms that he’s never gonna give you up. Which is it, my friend? (This thematic inconsistency doesn’t matter at all to me, because Switch is not a rock opera. It simply stood out because the songs are placed back-to-back on the album.)

This song is very catchy, and makes me want to car- or chair-dance. And you should see me car- or chair-dance; it is a sight.

Bonus awesomeness: sax and bass are so very INXS, straight off The Swing.

“Like It or Not” I do not like the fuzzy guitars. Repeat: I do not like the fuzzy guitars. They are not INXS. (I am very strict regarding what INXS guitars should sound like.) J.D. is sounding particularly Hutchence here, singing about gods and loves and whatnot.

“Us” My least favorite track. Lyrically, this song is very simple and predictable. I am lyrics girl, so boring and bland lyrics drive me crazy. Please sing something at me that will make me think even just a little bit. Please do not rhyme “me” with “free,” “day” with “away.” Thanks.

“God’s Top Ten” A woman sings the first verse. Who is this chick? I don’t like chicks in my INXS. I also don’t like U2 in my INXS, but I am getting some more of it here.

Another song about Michael Hutchence. God’s Top Ten? I can’t stand it. “He’s drifting with the stars / A lyric in his pocket, a little girl in his heart / When you hear his songs on the radio / I don’t need to tell you what you already know / He’s in God’s Top Ten.” Maudlin. Cheesy. I do like the references to Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily, though. Poor orphan deserves a shout out. (Damned Bob Geldof.)

I understand that there has to be catharsis on this album if the band is really going to move on with another voice. However, I feel like someone who actually knew Michael should be the one to sing a personal song like this (as opposed to “Afterglow,” which is from J.D.’s perspective, so it makes more sense). Kirk should have sung this. Or Andrew. It would have meant so much more that way. Maybe the woman at the beginning of the song has a meaningful connection to Michael; in that case, her presence is tolerable.

All of that said, this is a pleasant song but Michael deserved a better tribute – at least not one that makes trite mention of his position on heaven’s Billboard. Wasn’t he more than that?

++++++

I’ve listened to the album four times now, three very closely. Even with its shortcomings, it’s a very listenable endeavor and most of the songs are already lodged in my brain. It's an admirable effort from a band that’s survived so many traumas and still has something to say. It's also commendable work from a homeless Canadian Elvis impersonator turned reality-show victor turned recipient of the Hutchence baton for the anchor leg of the INXS relay. Those aren’t easy shoes to fill. Ty couldn’t have done it, I’ll tell you that much.