This is what happens with lawyers and grantwriters are bored on the job

My sister is enjoying a personal pan pizza for lunch today. She is apparently taking the adjective "personal" rather literally, as our important e-mail correspondence attests:

Sister: This pizza is personal - in fact, it's way too personal. It's starting to get fresh with me.

Me: If it knows what is good for it, that pizza will calm itself the fuck down and respect your privacy.

Sister: that pizza is getting all up in my grill. it needs to back off, and talk to the hand.

And so goes another productive workday in America.